#1) Your cell phone number starts with 1-900-
#2) The website " I Slept with (your name here)" has more members than Twitter.
#3) After you finally build the feather attachment for your cordless drill, the batteries wear out in a week.
#4)Wilt Chamberlin calls you for dating advice.
#5)The seat on the swing that hangs above your bed has been replaced 3 times this month.
#6)You get your cart to the checkout line before realizing your wallet is at home.....with your clothes.
#7) Everyone prefers your dog to you..... because he humps their leg less.
#8) Paris Hilton thinks YOU are a whore!
#9) You try to start a game of Strip Twister while visiting a convent.
And # 10) Your home videos are considered too perverted for Amsterdam.

 Sometimes I realize that I have a lot more good ideas than time to implement them.  That IS a good thing.... mainly because after awhile, you have time to spot major flaws.  Urban shopping consultant is NOT a great idea.  It would be much better if I can just figure out how to put links up here and let people do this for themselves.  Like "they" say," better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish." Still churning out lots of ideas and while most are ultimately jokes, it is helping me to look at the world in a slightly different and more productive way.  My sister loved the idea, "Rent-A-Nut".  Basically this was an idea I had where, for a fee, you could rent an aspiring actor to make a scene in public.
Imagine you've just had a relationship end badly.  Do you think it might be worth a 100 bucks or so to have the ex-sig other publicly humiliated?  Say the ex is a major homophobic jock type.  You pay us and let us know where and when he'll be out in public with his friends, or better yet, co-workers. (This works best in a bar or restaurant.)  One of our "agents" approaches  our victim and suddenly drops to his knees crying and wailing saying over and over, "You promised to call, you swore I was the best you'ld ever had,  WHY ARE YOU IGNORING MY CALLS?'"  That's just one example but you can see what I mean. Singing telegrams, people who will throw a pie in someone's face... there is ALWAYS a niche market for any service.  Real work starts soon so I have to go.  Feel free to leave me a comment.  After all, it IS the only way I will ever know if someone has actually seen this stuff!! My phone number is 609-dream60 and my email address is [email protected]

 I finally found the most succinct version of the TAO.  There is much wisdom here.  Take all you can use!! From,"Tao Te Ching"  From Wikipedia: where they realize knowledge shared freely benefits us all!! hope this works.

   * Force begets force.
   * One whose needs are simple can fulfill them easily.
   * Material wealth does not enrich the spirit.
   * Self-absorption and self-importance are vain and self-destructive.
   * Victory in war is not glorious and not to be celebrated, but stems from devastation, and is to be mourned.
   * The harder one tries, the more resistance one creates for oneself.
   * The more one acts in harmony with the universe (the Mother of the ten thousand things), the more one will achieve, with less effort.
   * The truly wise make little of their own wisdom for the more they know, the more they realize how little they know.
   * When we lose the fundamentals, we supplant them with increasingly inferior values which we pretend are the true values.
   * Glorification of wealth, power and beauty beget crime, envy and shame. (vanity)
   * The qualities of flexibility and suppleness, especially as exemplified by water, are superior to rigidity and strength.
   * Everything is in its own time and place.
   * Duality of nature that complements each other instead of competing with each other — the two faces of the same coin — one cannot exist without the other.
   * The differences of opposite polarities — e.g., the differences between male and female, light and dark, strong and weak, etc. — help us to understand and appreciate the universe.
   * Humility is the highest virtue.
   * Knowing oneself is a virtue.
   * Envy is our calamity; overindulgence is our plight.
   * The more you go in search of an answer, the less you will understand.
   * Know when it's time to stop. If you don't know then stop when you are done. (9

Okay, here's the deal, my language is normally so bad it's been known to make sailors and felons blush.  Some funny shit falls out of my mouth too, so it's a toss up whether or not it's a good idea to write like I talk.  What the hell, everyone reading this pretty well knows me and if they are offended it must be amnesia causing them to forget who they're reading!!   I'm building a house of cards..... with credit cards.  I figure I'll either be able to sell enough of this shit I'm buying to make a small profit, or lose my ass and file bankruptcy...getting me out of that crushing car note.  The car note is not really any worse than being married....just another burden I wish I had avoided!!  Hell, I lived out of a duffel bag for 8 months working a full time job.  I have a lot more crap now but that shit is not a real factor in my happiness.  I like dried beans and baloney sandwiches... too bad I like escargo and steak better.  My guess is bankruptcy is a
 lot like slamming a car door on your testicles..... hurts like hell while you're doing it but the pain starts easing as soon as it''s finished.  The crazy part is I really prefer a pretty simple life. After seeing my projected Social Security Income, I figure I either need to have a home already paid for or learn to eat air.  A bankruptcy is gonna make that air thing the most likely of the 2.
   I am getting a buddy to build me a real website this week.  I figure I can spare the money more than I can spare the months it would take me to learn to do it all on my own.  I consider this website and blog to be about like a teenagers first car:  Why pay for something nice when it's just going to get wrecked anyway!!!  I haven't totaled this site yet but it's gotten beat up a good bit. You are lucky you haven't suffered thru the posts I deleted.
  Yeah, I've read about how other bloggers write their posts to PDF files so they can review and edit them before posting.  By now you can probably guess I don't know a damn thing about typing up one of those or how to go about tranferring it here if I did.  That is making the whole, "write an ebook" thing pretty unlikely, eh?   My method is pretty much this:  I read my post the next day.  If I just spot a few mistakes, I try to edit them out.  If I think it sucks, I delete it.  Sometimes these posts have a point.  Unfortunately, sometimes finding it is akin to reading a bowl of Alphabits.  The point to this one may be the same point that has forced me to delete a few others, i.e.  You shouldn't type while sleep deprived.